I WISH I WAS A KID...

I really wish.
That way I could wish to grow up again... Because, right now, being a grown up sucks.

A imagem só foi editada por mim: não me pertence, nem tenciono tirar proveito monetário dela... (Imagem Original)

Será que ninguém é capaz de me deixar em paz?
Um pequeno minuto de descanso em que ninguém me julgue ou me diga o que fazer, é pedir muito?
Estou farta que achem que sabem o que é melhor para mim! Eu é que sei o que tenho que fazer. Não preciso um guia para cada minuto do dia... É a minha vida, o que eu faço afecta-me a mim! O que querem que eu faça, afectar-me-á a mim!
Pode parecer muito fácil julgar para quem está de fora, mas tudo o que eu faço é pensado e re-pensado, para não me arrepender... Se o querem que faça não está nos meus planos há uma razão para isso!
Embora vos possa parecer, não sou estúpida! Tenho ideias próprias, tenho a minha opinião e tenho direito a expressá-la: quer gostem ou não!
Muitas vezes, deixo as coisas passar... Nada demasiado importante para me preocupar. Mas se assim não acontecer, eu é que decido o que fazer!
Não percebem, ou não querem perceber, que isto é o que eu sou e fazem de tudo para evitar algo que exija mais da vossa atenção do que uma simples concordância da minha parte.
Por isso, começo a perceber que tenho que mudar. Tenho que mostrar que não sou tão imatura e insensível como pensam. Tenho demasiado orgulho para não o fazer.

STARGAZING II

Lua Nova de Maio já foi publicada... Finalmente consegui actualizar os textos de acordo com o mês.
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"I know that!" She screamed to me and though my back was turned to her, I was sure she was chasing after me. "That's why I came here. To have the chance to talk to you and ask you why."
I turned my head to her and noticed that Lily was blushing. "Why?" My voice came out ice cold. "There's nothing you can do about it."
She froze in her place with shock. Then started running in my direction. "Why you!..." I can't say I didn't know what was coming: she knocked me to the ground and punched me. I didn't try to stop her.
She was shouting furiously. And I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. "Are you mentally retarded?!" One... "I don't know what it was like from where you came from..." Two... I wonder if the other two could hear us. "... But here..." Three... "Here we care for others!" Four... "We're on the same team, damn it!" I waited for a fifth strike but the only thing that hit me was a drop. Then other and another. Was it starting to rain? I looked up and saw her crying. It wasn't rain, it were teardrops. My eyes grew wider and she kept talking between sobs. "I'm... I'm your friend... I worry 'bout you."
I knew we were friends, but I never expected this kind of friendship: too strong and deep. I never had nothing similar to that. Did I have friends? Yes... Only they cared more for my wealth than for me. But Lily, Tsubaki and, probably, even Kenshin didn't knew about it. "Really?" He murmured not louder than a whisper, but loud enough for her cat ears to pick up.
"Of course, dummy!" She got off him and sat on the grass by him. "You're always trying to cheer others up, never thinking of yourself. But when it's you who's feeling down you bottle your feelings and don't let anyone else approach you."
Silence. She was right I looked at her and saw Lily trying to cover her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes with her light blond bangs, though in the moonlight her hair looked more like silver. She was here with him because she cared for him... They all did. How couldn't he have noticed earlier what the rest of the team was trying to do? "I learned to not trust people, Lily." She got tense. "That's how I grew up. I knew everyone around me didn't really care for my well-being." She turned her face to me. "But now... I got to know you." I rolled on my side facing her and grinned, though it stung because my cheeks were swollen from the punches earlier. "You know... You're the first person beating me up."
She looked very troubled. "I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you much?" Lily asked in concern.
"Don't be sorry. I was really rude: I deserved it. In fact, I didn't try to stop you because I needed to be hurt. To feel hurt... To feel something." I looked up to the sky. "You're the first person proving me wrong, even if you do it through punching... Because you care. And I'm sure the other two care too." She remained silent. "Tell me... Do you believe in God?" I didn't know what she did, but I could picture her confused face. "I had a older sister. She died exactly nine years ago, three days from today." I just laid there telling a part of my background story and getting blurry vision. "I'm not exactly good with this kind of stuff. This is a first for me: sharing feelings and getting all emotional." I chuckled. "She was the only person in my family who cared for me and whom I trusted... I would have died for her." I tried to swallow and destroy the knot formed in my throat, but to no avail.
"What did she look like?" Lily spoke. I turned to see her face. All I saw was compassion, support and... Love?
"She was very alike me: dirty blond hair, green eyes, cheeky grin..." I smiled at the memory of Eleanor.
"I bet she was like an angel: pretty and kind."
"I don't know if angels exist... And I'm not sure about if there's a God. But she was very pretty and one of the kindest people I have ever met. She never saw the evil in people. She was too naïve for her own good. On the inside we were completely different." I noticed that tears were rolling down my face "I know that there are more questions you want me to answer, but I'm not ready to tell you about them right now, even though I trust you... Don't get mad."
Lily shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm glad you shared something with me... Even if you don't tell me all about you, I trust you... And I'll be here when you want to tell me more." She smiled and got up. "I'll leave you alone now... I'm sorry to know about your sister, I would have liked to know her... She sounded like an awesome person."
I sobbed. "She was." My voice was too hoarse. "Don't go away right now... Lie here with me. Please"
"Sure thing." She lied down next to me and looked to the sky. "So, which one is the Gemens constellation?"
I cleared my voice and chuckled. "It's Gemini." I guided her eyes through the sky. "Can you see those three stars in a row? Then look a bit more to the left and find two bright stars. Those are Pollux and Castor stars..."
Lily growled confused "Whose?"
"Pollux and Castor. They are the twin that the Gemini constellation mythological story is all about." She waited silently and Seth took it as sign to start telling her the story. "As I said before they were twins. However they had different fathers: Pollux was the son of a god and Castor son of a human. They were very close but Castor had the life span of a human, while Pollux was immortal. When his brother died Pollux got really down and go to ask Jupiter to share his immortality with Castor." Both could see the irony between Greek mythology and Seth's past. Nevertheless, he continued. "Jupiter was touched by how strong was the bond between them and to compensate all their acts of heroism - while Castor was still alive - Jupiter agreed to Pollux request and reunited them in the night sky. Even today, they are together in that U-shaped constellation with those two bright stars as their heads... Pollux is the orange and Castor is the white, if I remember correctly."
"Cool. Now they're together for eternity!" Then Lily fell silent, storing all this information. That's when she understood Seth's question earlier. When he asked if she believed in God he was thinking about the twins story and how he loved his sister. "I don't know if there's a God, but I'd like to think it does exist."
I closed my eyes contempt with her reply. But open them when I felt Lily hugging me, her arm over my stomach and her head on my shoulder. My eyes searched hers and asking for a reason.
"Don't worry. Your sister will wait for you as long as you live happily... After that you have eternity to be together." She answered smiling. How did she know what was on my mind?
I nodded "And I'll make sure to introduce you when the time comes." I started to cry again and I didn't try to hide it. Something had changed between me and Lily... In our relationship. Though I was totally in unknown territory when it came to friendship I knew I could trust her. So I hugged her back tighter and cried all that I had kept inside in 9 years of pain and sorrow for the loss of Eleanor.
Lily didn't make any questions and didn't make fun of me.
I decided that it was fine to cry in front of my friends. In front of her.
Because she cared.

STARGAZING I

Woohoo! Fevereiro e Março de 2011 no Lua Nova já estão. Hoje como estou generosa em escrever textos vou escrever outro aqui :P (Não no Lua Nova, porque só tive esta ideia há pouco e, que eu saiba, hoje não é noite de Lua Nova)

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"Can I sit here?" A feminine voice asked.
This broke my train of thoughts. "You may."
"Smartass." She growled as sitting beside me. "Why the hell are you here all by yourself? Stargazing? You can do that next to us."
"It's quieter here." I said, but then a better idea came up: pissing her off! "Excuse me: let me re-phrase that: It was quieter here..." I didn't stop myself from grinning as I saw a vein pulse in her head.
"Really?!" She reached a menacing tone... Maybe I should have just stayed quite. "Well... Excuse me from beating your face to a pulp if you continue with that attitude of yours."
Now... I'm the one with the attitude? I huffed... Nevertheless, I knew that she would stick to her promise and I liked my face the way it was.
She kept a straight face and spoke again. "You didn't answer me." I scowled... Why couldn't she let it go?
I decided to try my luck. "To get a better view..." Really?! To get a better view? This is all I could manage to invent? No better excuse? "... of Gemini constellation." That's more like it. Thank you Astronomy lessons!
She looked at me with squinted maroon eyes and remained silent. She wasn't buying it. "And is that any excuse to let your guard down and be here, out in the open for any enemy attack?"
"Well, if it wasn't for you and Tsubaki, I'd never have to worry about those kinds of things... Besides I brought my trustworthy Colt M1-" My monologue was cut by a sudden rustle of grass and I realized that Lily had got up "Hey, where are you going?"
She kept walking up the hill.
What had I done? Oh. Crap. "Wait up!" I got up and ran to her. "I didn't mean to say that! It's not the truth! You know that, right?" I'm such a jerk. "Come on, Lily... Say something!"
She turned around and faced me. "I knew that you were stupid..." Geee... Thanks. No need to be sooo nice. "... what I didn't knew was that you were a resentful one, Seth." Ouch! That hurts.
"All right. I get it: I hurt your feelings. I'm so-"
"I'm not hurt!" Yeah right.
"Fine. I'm sorry!" Her tail started swinging cautiously. Maybe with a hint of pride? "It's not your fault that I'm here."
"I know that." Her voice didn't match her certainty, that's for sure. "We acknowledge that you might have been attacked because you were with us, but it was your choice to stay after we took you into safety again." She explained more to convince herself than me. Actually, not of that was true but I'm not sure if I want her to know all about my past... At least, not yet.
"Yes." I answered looking up to the starry sky. "I... I have been in a very foul mood. That's why I said that. Sorry." Then I turned my back to her and got back to my previous place. This was going to be a long week.

The Ugly Dance... com Sócrates

http://www2.theuglydance.com/?v=gcujuojio5

Untitled :P

Finalmente fiz alguma coisa produtiva estes últimos dias...

Ontem consegui enganar a minha irmã durante a tarde inteira (se a tivesse visto de manhã, tinha-o feito mais tempo -.-')... Adoro Dia das Mentiras! xD
Hoje terminei o rascunho do desenho da Sara: a "caneta amarela" está completa e os cabelos de todas foram arranjados. Agora só falta o lineart (para o qual não tenho canetas OTL), scanning, imprimir (ainda não sei em que formato) e colorir (lápis ou canetas; provavelmente lápis e, se calhar, novo scanning para edição de imagem e nova impressão). Ainda pensei pôr aqui o rascunho, mas como já há mais pessoas que conhecem o blog... =.= É melhor não. Ainda podiam estragar a surpresa... However, don't get your hopes up. Not too much. (Se bem que o rascunho inicial, já anda na net... *Muahahah*).
E mais, ainda escrevi um texto no Lua Nova! Woohoo... Janeiro de 2011 done!

A sério, quando é que chegam as duas semanas sem noite? Estou ansiosa por ter mais umas horas para aproveitar. Acrescentar umas horinhas ao dia não fazia mal nenhum T.T

IF YOU'RE NOT THE ONE

Ultimamente, a canção não me sai na cabeça... Que se há-de fazer?

Novo texto no Lua Nova... Finalmente chego a 2011 xD